An Epic Yearly Roundup & Looking Toward 2023
A BIG END OF YEAR POST! Recommendations, resolutions, and a celebration of this community.
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I was not excited when I started this Substack in March.
I needed a newsletter for my retreats, but I thought a public one was indulgent and humiliating. I couldn’t put all my time and energy into free posts, so it wouldn’t be my best writing. The thought of publicly sharing not-my-best work terrified me.
As you know, dear reader, I did it anyway. I wanted a new creative outlet. I wanted an online community outside of Instagram & Twitter, and I needed a way to connect with people interested in my work and retreats. So I started.
When I got 100 subscribers I felt I’d won the lottery. Guess how long that took? FOUR MONTHS.
For those first months, I didn’t share my newsletter. I didn’t email my friends and say, hey, I started a thing! I wrote into the abyss. In part, this was because I was exploring. I didn’t know what this was. But I kept writing, and I discovered it.
Sometimes, the easiest way to find your voice is to write, reflect on it, and connect the dots: Oh, okay, that’s what I’m all about. That’s what I have to offer.
I slowly started sharing Little Things. At 200 subscribers, I thought, okay, I can keep going… At 500, one thousand didn’t feel impossible anymore. And now, we are there! There are over 1,000 subscribers to Litte Things! Starting a newsletter is HARD. Thank you for making it easier. I am so grateful for every single one of you who has built this space with me.
There are days I think why am I writing this? Sometimes it feels like I’m still writing into an abyss, or that I’m annoying on social media, or nobody wants this Substack, or is it really worth it?
Writing this is a challenge and a gift, it’s a lesson in routine and self-trust. It’s taught me to let go of my perfectionism.
I first learned to sacrifice perfectionism while working at BuzzFeed, where our bosses told us repeatedly: done is better than perfect. I churned out video after video. I resented that I had to release videos that didn’t live up to my potential. Sometimes I truly hated what I published, or was embarrassed about my work. But I needed to meet a quota to keep my job.
Behind that frustration was also a gift: I couldn’t be precious with my ideas or my writing. I had to keep creating, to keep hitting publish. There was no time to judge my work. There was no room for perfectionism. From this, I also ended up creating work I am still so proud of, like the dramatic short When I Saw Him Again or this comedy short I wrote and filmed on the same day, because that was the assignment.
With Substack, I return to a space of constant creation and release. I let my work go, rather than hoarding my writing until just one more draft is finished. It’s so freeing to sit down, write, and publish.
Let’s take a moment to celebrate this amazing, diverse community. Little Things readers are…
Showrunners who’ve created their own TV shows, TV writers, film and commercial directors, comedians, actors, musicians, podcast hosts, copywriters, creative directors, poets, and novelists. One is a reporter for the New York Times, several write for other online publications, and at least 3 are NYT best-selling authors.
Some subscribers are my Script Anatomy students, retreat participants, college students, aspiring writers, assistants to high-profile actors and show-runners, and up-and-coming comedians working hard towards their break.
Some are High School teachers, fellow Substack writers, professional astrologers, Yogis, and software engineers reconnecting with their creativity. And also my dad and Aunt Randy.
Together, we’ve chatted in the comments, emailed directly, and 14 of you have traveled with me to Costa Rica and Italy. You are all so cool. Including you, dad, and Aunt Randy. Thank you all so much for being here.
And now, for recommendations!
I read 73 books this year, so I’m breaking up my book recommendations into two sections.
HERE ARE MY FAVORITE BOOKS I READ THIS YEAR
Homegoing by Yaa Gyasi is the best book I’ve read in years. It’s the best fictionalized portrait of generational trauma I’ve read. It’s the most effective use of multiple points of view I’ve read. (I can’t get into it when Jennifer Egan does it, but here, I can’t get enough). It’s a masterpiece.
My Year of Rest & Relaxation by Ottessa Moshfesh was my second favorite book of the year. The way she pulls you inside her protagonist is so effective and stunning. Miles away from her story, I felt that I was her.
Klara and The Sun by Kazuo Ishiguro is told from the point of view of Artificial Intelligence in a future world and confirms that Ishiguro is one of the best living writers.
Migrations by Charlotte McConaghy made me ugly cry. It takes place in a future when most animals are extinct, as a woman makes a trip from Canada to the Arctic to track the migration of a bird. The world-building is wonderful, but it’s her internal, emotional story that makes this book shine.
The 7 Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid I have nothing new to say about this book. I cried my heart out and I adored it.
Olga Dies Dreaming is Xochitl Gonzalez’s debut novel about two siblings chasing the American dream in New York, and disaster capitalism and imperialism in Puerto Rico. It explores corporate exploitation, the lasting impacts of childhood abandonment and so much more with page-turning prose.
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin is perhaps the best portrait of a creative partnership I’ve read. It’s extremely character-driven, and I was fully invested in the world Zevin so effectively builds.
Pachinko by Min Jin Lee is an epic tale of a family in Korea and Japan over many generations. Beyond the remarkable storytelling and rich characters, I also learned so much history from this book.
The Lost Daughter by Elena Ferrante is so weird and honest and beautiful. She elegantly and brutally tells the truth about being a woman and motherhood in a way that nobody else does.
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig this book was a best-seller for about 1000 weeks and now gets called overrated. I listened to the audiobook, beautifully read by Carrie Mulligan, and found it life-affirming, delightful, and perfectly corny — it’s a retelling of It’s A Wonderful Life, after all.
AND ALSO TIED FOR 10TH:
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman, Nothing To See Here by Kevin Wilson, Trust Exercise by Susan Choi
HERE ARE MY FAVORITE BOOKS PUBLISHED IN 20221
Olga Dies Dreaming by Xochitl Gonzalez, as described above
Tomorrow and Tomorrow and Tomorrow by Gabrielle Zevin, as described above
Pure Colour by Sheila Heti is an absurd story that requires you to let go of realism and go on a spiritual journey, connecting with spirit and humanity. It’s not for everybody, but it is for me. The writing is exquisite. Every sentence stuns.
Sea of Tranquility by Emily St. John Mandel. I’ve been told you should read this after her previous books to fully understand the connection between the characters. I did not, and I still loved it.
How Not To Drown In A Glass of Water by Angie Cruz pulls you in with every sentence. An extremely vivid and complicated protagonist, formed in less than 200 pages. I flew through it.
Trust by Hernan Diaz takes a bit to get into. If you don’t give up, a literary puzzle, gorgeous writing (the writing literally shifts), and new, delightfully fascinating characters await.
Hello, Molly by Molly Shannon makes you want to cry and laugh throughout. Her optimism, gratitude, and love for life in the face of pain and trauma are remarkable. I was awed and inspired.
This Time Tomorrow by Emma Straub is just wonderful. Midnight Library meets 13 Going on 30. A time-travel book that isn’t about love, but instead explores grief, family, and aging. Both fun and heart-wrenching.
Lapvona by Ottessa Moshfegh. Look, this book is as gross and weird and disturbing as everybody says, and I loved it.
The Rabbit Hutch by Tess Gunty is a rare novel: A dense, multiple-POV literary book that still feels propelling and mesmerizing.
RUNNERS UP: Lessons In Chemistry by Bonnie Garmus, Cult Classic by Sloane Crosley, Acne by Laura Chinn, The Candy House by Jennifer Egan
MY TOP TEN FILMS OF 2022
Triangle of Sadness is perfection. Just close your eyes during that one scene.
Everything Everywhere All At Once confirms my love for maximalism.
The Worst Person In The World is a film I wish I wrote.
Women Talking stuns with emotion and power and inspiration.
Aftersun proves minimalism is also okay (aka, absolutely gorgeous).
Banshees Of Inisherin is hilarious, tragic, and so existential. Everything I love.
Decision To Leave is the most romantic film of the year.
Good Luck To You, Leo Grande should get more credit for how groundbreaking it is. Simple and stunning writing.
Guillermo del Toro’s Pinocchio made me cry more than any film this year.
Tár disappointed me after all the hype, but it IS still an exquisite character study.
ALSO EXCELLENT: Petite Maman, Nope, Emily The Criminal, Marcel The Shell With Shoes On, The Lost City, Barbarian
MY TOP TV SERIES OF 2022:
Severance
The White Lotus S2
The Bear
Stranger Things S4
I Love That For You
Still watching, but loving…
Abbott Elementary2
Fleishman Is In Trouble
Bad Sisters
MY TOP TEN LITTLE THINGS POSTS OF 2022:
Looking Towards 2023:
Travel with me back to February 2022. I’ve downloaded Goodreads for the first time. I’m so excited that I set a challenge to read 100 books this year. Let’s ignore the fact that I read about 6 books in 2021. I can do it, I think.
Flash forward to today. Did I read 100 books? Reader, you know the answer.
The impulse to set impossible goals stems from ego and excitement. The bigger the goal, the more we can throw ourselves into it entirely and let it devour us until we inevitably burn out.
Eventually, I lowered my goal to 80. Earlier this week, only a few books away from my goal, I turned to Instagram and Twitter to ask for recommendations for short books. I received incredible responses: Convenience Store Woman, Bluets, Happening, A Girl’s Story, Last Night at the Lobster, Small Things Like These, and The Monster of Elendhaven are all highly recommended, and so short that none of the audiobooks surpass 4 hours.
I could meet my goal, after all!
Confronted with all these new options, I realized… I was done. I burned myself out — not at my job, but at my hobby. I didn’t want to read anymore. I didn’t want to listen to anything. I had turned reading into a competitive sport, and I couldn’t find joy in it any longer.
Setting yourself up to fail is an addictive business. In 2023, I’m breaking the trend. I’m making goals and resolutions that I can keep.
Here’s my resolution-making advice:
Brainstorm your biggest goals — I want to meditate every day! Make 100k! Eat zero sugar! Read 2000 books!
Imagine yourself in the peak of stress this year, when sugar is inevitable. When work gets crazy, when you’re on that trip with your in-laws, when you’re in a depressive slump, whatever you’re anticipating to face.
Restructure your goal so you can still achieve it in this pinnacle moment.
That’s your resolution!! It’s good enough and so are you.
I’m making a few changes to the newsletter in 2023. Namely, I’m consolidating my essays and roundups so you get fewer, more meaningful emails. Roundups will begin again on January 8th.
I’ll still send out (paid) writing advice and interviews with other creatives, most likely every other Wednesday or so.
If you’re a paying subscriber or are considering upgrading know that I’m planning to really invest in paid posts to ensure you get your money’s worth.
If you’d like full access to the newsletter, to support my work, or to become a bigger part of this community in 2023, you can click below to start a trial.
That’s all for now! Happy New Year!
