External Validation & Healing Your Soul with Tara Schuster, Author of "Buy Yourself The F*cking Lillies"
Tara's new book "Glow In The F*cking Dark" is available now everywhere books are sold.
This week I’m excited to share an interview with Tara Schuster, an accomplished entertainment executive turned mental health advocate and best-selling author. Her first book Buy Yourself The F*cking Lillies was a runaway hit in 2020, and she just released her second, Glow In The F*cking Dark, which is an Amazon editors pick for best in non-fiction. She also recently launched her Substack. Welcome, Tara!
Prior to her life as a writer, Tara worked as a Comedy Central executive, overseeing Key & Peele, Lights Out With David Spade, and other shows, while simultaneously hiding her internal struggles behind her high-powered, fancy job. After drunk dialing her therapist one night in her 20s threatening to kill herself, she decided she needed to change. And even though it was REALLY, REALLY HARD, she did exactly that. Tara developed an actionable set of tools to reclaim her life, which she offers readers in her first book.
Tara wrote Glow In The F*cking Dark after she was laid off from her Comedy Central job during the pandemic — a job she’d had her entire adult life, from which she got all of her self-worth. She realized that she needed to slow down and do some serious work to access her core self and heal her soul, which she shares with readers in the book.
Here are a few highlights from our conversation:
At 3:40, Tara introduces herself, her story, and what led her to switch careers.
As I’ve previously written about, we are made from stars, and Tara discusses how, after her car broke down in the desert, stars literally inspired her book at 14:40.
We discuss an incredible type of therapy we both love called Internal Family Systems at 17:45.
We discuss The Artist’s Way, how to be forgiving when you’re not able to show up for yourself, and the impact of journaling at 22:40.
At 30:45, we talk about how we met, which was in an improv class! When I eventually moved to LA, Tara got me my first staffing meeting ever on a Comedy Central show. I didn’t get hired, but Tara believing in me meant so much, and a year or two later it was Comedy Central who hired me for my first TV gig.
At 31:50, we discuss the trouble with getting self-worth from external validation, and how this is a continuous struggle. We spend about 20 minutes on this subject because OH MY GOD, does anybody not seek external validation, especially in the age of the influencer economy? In this portion, Tara also talks about getting her Emmy nomination revoked. Oh my god, the pain. (33:15)
At 44:35, we talk about how hard it is to heal yourself, but how ultimately it is so worth it. I tie in The Artist’s Way again (I can’t help it!) reflecting on how much has shifted in my life just by showing up for myself in small daily ways.
I hope you enjoy this episode. You can learn more about Tara or buy her books on her website. To help others find Little Things, feel free to share this edition, like or comment on this post, or subscribe if you don’t already. Thank you so much for supporting this newsletter!