Your photos are wonderful! Thank you for sharing. I struggle with driving anxiety, so seeing you driving cross country alone is inspiring.
The dank corners of down periods where we lose contact with the dry light expansive nature still exits catches me in its snare too. And it seems to happen slowly without me noticing! But eventually I discover a way out, of course, as your beautiful article points to, with intention.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! So exciting!
She is such a source of calm, and beyond that constantly brings me back to the present moment. I love that she wakes up everyday so excited to be alive and go outside and eat food, it gets me excited about the little things too
I get the same feeling with my cat, Boudica. I struggle to summon any sense of self-compassion or respect for no real reason other than setting unrealistically high standards for myself — for some reason, Bou grounds me and makes me realise none of it really matters, apart from treats and belly scrotches, so it takes the pressure off on low days. (She also seems to sense when I’m low and comes to cuddle.)
Ohhh I like this a lot — thank you for sharing. I don’t suppose you know where he was quoted as saying that? I thought Ira had written a (new) book for a moment!
Your admittance gives me a boost! I've been intentionally working with my driving anxiety this year and growing my confidence back.
I agree, getting to the other side just seems to happen. It is so similar to waking up from sleep, and there is a moment where you notice the lightness has returned to the body and mind.
The fact that you allowed yourself to get MAD (and then tell us strangers about it) is one of the KEY things that can shift energy. I read this post holding my breath, rooting for you, grateful to take it with you on the page. Brava!
Thank you!! It's funny, I hadn't considered that link between expressing anger and shifting energy but it feels very accurate to my own life and journey. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post: seeing you and your dog communing with each other, nature, car rides and your audio books, the self-reflections. Seems like you have accomplished a lot in your young life-a lot to be proud of. But I understand how all that does not necessarily correlate with feeling great about yourself and your life. You describe this well- all the different emotions, self-critic and your evolution toward acceptance of wherever you are at the time. No small feat to sit with this stuff- but yet it is really that simple as you remind us. Thanks for sharing your insights, leading these groups ( incl. Artist’s Way) and for giving me a chance to get to know you a bit through your writing. ❤️🌈
I don't practice yoga, but I am 100 percent on board with the practice of accepting reality as it is. It took me a long time to realize that expectation is the source of all disappointment. "Deserve" and "should" are not just words but modes of thinking that sabotage our lives. It's a lesson I must periodically relearn. Thanks for sharing, Ali. Your journey seems to be rich and full of wonder. Enjoy your travels.
Boy, this comment box isn't big enough to describe all the ways this resonated with me and mirrors my own recent past and present. I am also slowly emerging from the longest down cycle of my life.
[ Also drove (halfway) across the country alone (with my dog, Buckwheat) which was one of 8 cross country trips I've driven in the last three years. Also very bad at ebbing (loved the Eckhart quote). Also constantly battling time and wondering why I can't seem to get back to who I used to be and what I used to be capable of. And also finding a greater capacity to hold the 'all of it' at the same time- the joy, the grief, the sadness, the hope.]
And with that, I really appreciated how you wove together all the truths of your experience. The hardships and the joys that co-exist, neither negating the other. I hope this particular season of celebration fills you up and restores some of what has felt lost. I'm really looking forward to what you continue to create from this emerging space.
In the meantime, I will be holding on to this as a reminder when my own self-acceptance isn't articulate or loud enough "It takes time and effort to let go of what does not serve you. It takes time and effort to recreate yourself based on who you truly are, and not who you thought you had to be."
Oh my gosh, what are the odds of finding another woman who's done a solo cross-country road trip with their dog, and also several previous cross-country road trips. I feel we must be kindred spirits of some sort.
The feeling of not being able to get back to what I used to be capable of is I think what took longest to shed, what kept me from being present, from realizing I'm still capable of so much, but of course there is no way to rid yourself of that feeling other than accepting your reality and sitting in it and recognizing change is not an ending but a beginning.
Thank you so much for all your kind words and I'm happy it resonated so closely with you, it makes me feel less alone!
I do love those moments when someone's writing hits home and tells you what you need to hear (read) to keep going. Thank you. You're doing an amazing job!
Love the Eckhart Tolle and Rilke quotes. So good 🙏🏼 and it’s such an important reminder about accepting reality as it is, the good and the bad. I’ve been working on that recently too, and coming out of a bit of a down cycle myself. now it’s more that I’m learning to sit in the uncertainty, the discomfort of not knowing what comes next, but choosing to trust in myself and the timing of my life the best that I can.
Maybe I need a solo road trip in my life also! Yours sounds incredible. Congrats on all the exciting changes you have coming up!
Sitting in the uncertainty *is* acceptance, for me at least. Not trying to move out of it, but just allowing yourself to be, and, like you said, to trust in yourself and the universe, is such a wonderful achievement.
And the trip was amazing! You can always start small with a day trip :) so happy the post and quotes resonated xo
Ooof yes, I feel this. Thank you for sharing! I think it’s important to share the down moments in life and still reminder others you can feel down and lost at times, but there are always beautiful things to appreciate about life.
I devoured this - such a great read; grounding but uplifting at the same time. Your solo road trip sounds amazing!
Lockdown was definitely a brutal reminder about the importance of the down cycle for me too. I was made redundant - my career effectively imploded out of nowhere and I couldn't access my normal coping mechanisms. Patience is key at these points, right?
I find myself screenshotting the quotes you share EVERY TIME, by the way! So helpful.
Thank you! I appreciate this so much and glad the quotes are helpful. To be made redundant is such a wonderful way to explain how so many of us felt during lockdown ❤️
This struck a chord with me, Ali. I couldn’t agree with you more that acceptance is so, so important. I’ve been in a down cycle of my own for a while, but have finally made peace with where I’m at. Learning to accept less than ideal circumstances is the most freeing thing—if we strive for acceptance, we are no longer at the mercy of the crappy things that happen to us, and no one thing can stand in the way of our happiness for long. All the best ❤️
It takes so long to make peace with it! It was the hardest part of my down cycle. Fighting against it and constantly living in the world of "should" was so difficult. But just like you said, acceptance leads to such freedom. I'm glad you've found your way to it <3
Your photos are wonderful! Thank you for sharing. I struggle with driving anxiety, so seeing you driving cross country alone is inspiring.
The dank corners of down periods where we lose contact with the dry light expansive nature still exits catches me in its snare too. And it seems to happen slowly without me noticing! But eventually I discover a way out, of course, as your beautiful article points to, with intention.
Congratulations on your upcoming marriage! So exciting!
The 🐕 in particular was a similar point of calm for me — thanks for a lovely post. :)
She is such a source of calm, and beyond that constantly brings me back to the present moment. I love that she wakes up everyday so excited to be alive and go outside and eat food, it gets me excited about the little things too
I get the same feeling with my cat, Boudica. I struggle to summon any sense of self-compassion or respect for no real reason other than setting unrealistically high standards for myself — for some reason, Bou grounds me and makes me realise none of it really matters, apart from treats and belly scrotches, so it takes the pressure off on low days. (She also seems to sense when I’m low and comes to cuddle.)
Have you read the Ira Glass quote about taste? It can be helpful when setting overly ambitious creative standards -- https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/309485-nobody-tells-this-to-people-who-are-beginners-i-wish
And 100%, nothing beats cuddles from an animal
Ohhh I like this a lot — thank you for sharing. I don’t suppose you know where he was quoted as saying that? I thought Ira had written a (new) book for a moment!
Just thought I’d mention that I extended thanks to you for bringing me that quote in my latest letter, ‘three’. Thanks again!
I was nervous about so much driving too, but it went really well and I’m glad I did it. I’m sure you could, too!
Yes, it always happens before you notice, suddenly you’re simply there. I think it happens on the other side, getting out of it, too.
Your admittance gives me a boost! I've been intentionally working with my driving anxiety this year and growing my confidence back.
I agree, getting to the other side just seems to happen. It is so similar to waking up from sleep, and there is a moment where you notice the lightness has returned to the body and mind.
The fact that you allowed yourself to get MAD (and then tell us strangers about it) is one of the KEY things that can shift energy. I read this post holding my breath, rooting for you, grateful to take it with you on the page. Brava!
Thank you!! It's funny, I hadn't considered that link between expressing anger and shifting energy but it feels very accurate to my own life and journey. Thanks for sharing!
I love this post: seeing you and your dog communing with each other, nature, car rides and your audio books, the self-reflections. Seems like you have accomplished a lot in your young life-a lot to be proud of. But I understand how all that does not necessarily correlate with feeling great about yourself and your life. You describe this well- all the different emotions, self-critic and your evolution toward acceptance of wherever you are at the time. No small feat to sit with this stuff- but yet it is really that simple as you remind us. Thanks for sharing your insights, leading these groups ( incl. Artist’s Way) and for giving me a chance to get to know you a bit through your writing. ❤️🌈
Thank you so much Susan <3
I don't practice yoga, but I am 100 percent on board with the practice of accepting reality as it is. It took me a long time to realize that expectation is the source of all disappointment. "Deserve" and "should" are not just words but modes of thinking that sabotage our lives. It's a lesson I must periodically relearn. Thanks for sharing, Ali. Your journey seems to be rich and full of wonder. Enjoy your travels.
Boy, this comment box isn't big enough to describe all the ways this resonated with me and mirrors my own recent past and present. I am also slowly emerging from the longest down cycle of my life.
[ Also drove (halfway) across the country alone (with my dog, Buckwheat) which was one of 8 cross country trips I've driven in the last three years. Also very bad at ebbing (loved the Eckhart quote). Also constantly battling time and wondering why I can't seem to get back to who I used to be and what I used to be capable of. And also finding a greater capacity to hold the 'all of it' at the same time- the joy, the grief, the sadness, the hope.]
And with that, I really appreciated how you wove together all the truths of your experience. The hardships and the joys that co-exist, neither negating the other. I hope this particular season of celebration fills you up and restores some of what has felt lost. I'm really looking forward to what you continue to create from this emerging space.
In the meantime, I will be holding on to this as a reminder when my own self-acceptance isn't articulate or loud enough "It takes time and effort to let go of what does not serve you. It takes time and effort to recreate yourself based on who you truly are, and not who you thought you had to be."
Happy wedding!
Oh my gosh, what are the odds of finding another woman who's done a solo cross-country road trip with their dog, and also several previous cross-country road trips. I feel we must be kindred spirits of some sort.
The feeling of not being able to get back to what I used to be capable of is I think what took longest to shed, what kept me from being present, from realizing I'm still capable of so much, but of course there is no way to rid yourself of that feeling other than accepting your reality and sitting in it and recognizing change is not an ending but a beginning.
Thank you so much for all your kind words and I'm happy it resonated so closely with you, it makes me feel less alone!
Yes! I thought the same thing! Cheers to finding kindred spirits and feeling less alone.
I do love those moments when someone's writing hits home and tells you what you need to hear (read) to keep going. Thank you. You're doing an amazing job!
Thank you! Keep going. We will get to the other side when we're ready :)
Love the Eckhart Tolle and Rilke quotes. So good 🙏🏼 and it’s such an important reminder about accepting reality as it is, the good and the bad. I’ve been working on that recently too, and coming out of a bit of a down cycle myself. now it’s more that I’m learning to sit in the uncertainty, the discomfort of not knowing what comes next, but choosing to trust in myself and the timing of my life the best that I can.
Maybe I need a solo road trip in my life also! Yours sounds incredible. Congrats on all the exciting changes you have coming up!
Sitting in the uncertainty *is* acceptance, for me at least. Not trying to move out of it, but just allowing yourself to be, and, like you said, to trust in yourself and the universe, is such a wonderful achievement.
And the trip was amazing! You can always start small with a day trip :) so happy the post and quotes resonated xo
Ooof yes, I feel this. Thank you for sharing! I think it’s important to share the down moments in life and still reminder others you can feel down and lost at times, but there are always beautiful things to appreciate about life.
Also wondering if you’ll be doing any retreats in the US? Writing & yoga in Sedona or Utah would be 🥰🥰
I'm actually planning a stateside retreat for 2023! Sedona & Utah are such great ideas... adding them to my list
I devoured this - such a great read; grounding but uplifting at the same time. Your solo road trip sounds amazing!
Lockdown was definitely a brutal reminder about the importance of the down cycle for me too. I was made redundant - my career effectively imploded out of nowhere and I couldn't access my normal coping mechanisms. Patience is key at these points, right?
I find myself screenshotting the quotes you share EVERY TIME, by the way! So helpful.
Thank you! I appreciate this so much and glad the quotes are helpful. To be made redundant is such a wonderful way to explain how so many of us felt during lockdown ❤️
Your newsletter cuts straight to my soul. Thank you for saying what I feel. Thank you for your vulnerability. My favorite Little Things yet!
Thank you so much, Sarah <3
Can we practice acceptance and compassion indeed! Thank you for this soul share, for making real the true blender of life! I can relate oh-so-much.
Taking this line with me "There is nothing wrong with receding so that you can once again flow, it’s only judgment that convinces us of that." 🙏
This struck a chord with me, Ali. I couldn’t agree with you more that acceptance is so, so important. I’ve been in a down cycle of my own for a while, but have finally made peace with where I’m at. Learning to accept less than ideal circumstances is the most freeing thing—if we strive for acceptance, we are no longer at the mercy of the crappy things that happen to us, and no one thing can stand in the way of our happiness for long. All the best ❤️
It takes so long to make peace with it! It was the hardest part of my down cycle. Fighting against it and constantly living in the world of "should" was so difficult. But just like you said, acceptance leads to such freedom. I'm glad you've found your way to it <3