Let yourself blossom + a VERY big list of book recommendations

Always sprouting but can't seem to blossom? That's "uprooting." Let's discuss it. And also, books. So many books.

September is a transitional month that marks the beginning of the end of the year: School is back in session, fall is neigh, and with it, the holidays. Now look, I am a holiday person. Throw up the Halloween decorations and cue Bing Crosby already. But word on the street is that many other people DO NOT feel this way. So I invite you to take a deep breath right now. Stop reading this and do it!!!

There is still so much time in 2023. Enough time for you to take a risk on yourself and your art. Enough time for everything you’re unnecessarily holding onto to fade away. Enough time to make bold choices that change your life, as well as tiny daily decisions that make an equally profound impact. I even believe there’s enough time for the uncertainty of the strikes that are impacting thousands to resolve, and for many people to work again.

When we take a breath and return to today, we can slow down time just a little bit.

A friend recently recommended the book The Mountain Is You, and I began listening to it on Libby last week. I came across a section on “uprooting” while driving my dog to the park and audibly gasped. There’s a word for this! I thought.

In short, uprooting is when you either constantly start new projects, or focus all your attention on something that doesn’t actually move a project forward. This quote sums it up best:

Uprooting happens when someone finds themselves jumping from relationship to relationship, or changing their business website again and again, when they really need to focus on building clientele or taking care of clients they already have. In uprooting, you’re not allowing yourself to blossom. You’re only comfortable with the process of sprouting.

It might be constantly needing a fresh start, which is often the result of not having healthy ways to deal with stress, or conflict resolution. Uprooting may also be a way of diverting attention from the actual problems in your life, as your attention must go to establishing yourself in a new job, or a new town. Ultimately, uprooting means you’re always starting your chapter, but never finishing it.

Throughout periods of my life, typically when I’m overwhelmed or creatively uninspired, I have fallen into this trap, focusing on minutiae like redesigning my website. (It’s always the website, every single time). Sometimes it’s not uprooting, we’re just so drained that we need a break from the harder work. But other times, it is absolutely self-sabotage. Is having a great website helpful? Yes! Will it get you a job? Probably not.

“You’re only comfortable with the process of sprouting.” Of course we are, that’s the safe part. Luckily, there are benefits to sprouting. Trying new projects can reveal which ones you truly love. (And when I spend hours working on my Substack graphics instead of doing other work, I have really great graphics!!) But when we get stuck in a cycle of never fully committing to anything, and only sprouting, it blocks our happiness. And there is no time for that. We must blossom!

The key to healing from uprooting is getting clear on what you really want. It’s okay to have multiple wants and to do many different things. I certainly do! But if we create 5 potential lifepaths for ourselves or start 5 new creative projects without clarity on which we care about most, suddenly they’ll all disappear. (I have also been there.)

If the concept of uprooting resonates with you, take some time to reflect on your deepest desires. Is there inner conflict about what you want out of life?

Is there a chapter of your life that you want to commit to in theory, but might be avoiding? Is there a tangible action you can take today, tomorrow, or next week, to move more deeply into it?

Try to connect to your why. Why are you resisting blossoming? It might be that you don’t actually want the thing. Or perhaps you’re afraid of failing at it. If it’s the latter, is it scarier to stay in a cycle of only sprouting, or to dive into the unknown? There’s no wrong answer there. It’s all about getting to your truth.

I’d love to read your answers in the comments, or you can use these questions as journaling prompts instead.

And now for a massive list of books.

Told you I made good graphics.

I have so many books to recommend to you. Let’s break it down by category:

FAVORITE FICTION RELEASED IN 2023

• I Have Some Questions For You by Rebecca Makkai

• Maame by Jessica Goerge

• Hello, Beautiful by Ann Napolitano

• Romantic Comedy by Curtis Sittenfeld

• Yellowface by R.F. Kuang.

FAVORITE FICTION I READ THAT WAS *NOT RELEASED IN 2023*

1. To The Lighthouse by Virginia Woolf

2. The Lying Life of Adults by Elena Ferrante

3. Nightbitch by Rachel Yoder (for fans of voice-driven, first-person books that don’t rely on plot - my favorite! — like My Year of Rest & Relaxation. Speaking of which…)

4. Eileen by Ottessa Moshfegh

5. Now Is Not The Time to Panic by Kevin Wilson (finally, some male representation on this list!)

FAVORITE NON-FICTION

1. All About Love by bell hooks

2. Letters From A Young Poet by Rainer Maria Rilke

3. A Room of One’s Own by Virginia Woolf (I wrote about this book here)

4. The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron — doing this workbook with this community was life-changing! I can’t wait to do it again.

5. Four Thousand Weeks by Oliver Burkeman

FAVORITE AUDIOBOOKS:

I read three audiobooks this year that felt like true performances. They were:

1. Yellowface by R.F. Kuang

2. The Storied Life of A.J. Finky by Gabrielle Zevin

3. Beyond the Wand by Tom Felton (charming and delightfully read by the author, for Harry Potter fans)

These last two are more traditional narrators, but also work very well as audiobooks:

1. The Guest by Emma Cline

2. The Collected Regrets of Clover by Mikki Brammer

Did you read any of these? If so, let me know what you think, or if you have others to recommend. I’m always looking for a good book.

Feel free to check out my Goodreads for the other books I’ve read this year, and what’s on my to-read list.