I love your first and last questions because they are related for me. I'm writing a post this week on curbing my shopping problem. For awhile, I was in denial about it. Then, as a family in February, we decided to challenge ourselves not to buy anything. It was a beautiful exercise. The surprising lesson is that everything I had to realize/remember/re-learn are all things I have been teaching my kids but I wasn't acting and modeling it myself. Stuff like delaying gratification, being grateful for what you already have, the beauty of less choices and stuff in our lives. Decluttering our physical and mental spaces is freedom.
That is a beautiful challenge. I have found the same freedom in decluttering. I'm curious how you're feeling about week 6 of the Artist's Way! Have you started it yet? It's all about abundance and redirecting our spending towards our values.
I forgot to mention this! I laughed when I read week 6 on Sunday! The universe is watching me and lent me a hand, keeping me in check! Yes, I have been writing it down. It has been so great because if I did this exercise before our no purchase February, I can't imagine what would be on this list.
I am mentioning you in my post and I do the voiceover! How do you say your last name? I tried to see if I could hear it in a video of you but I didn't see one. Vin-G-Ah-No?
Love this, and love that you are finding it easy to step away from social media. For years when I'd hear someone say, "I'm deleting my FB account of IG account," I'd think, you don't need to delete it. Just stop looking at it. It's so easy. Social media can be an effective tool, and a nice way to stay connected, but it doesn't need to rule us or consume our days. 💜
LOLZ at "WHO DID YOU STUDY" and wholehearted YES to Broderick's tweet! Avoid, deny, repeat. Sweep it under the rug and carry on, business as usual... Yikes. If it's any consolation, my therapist tells me I'm not her only client grappling with landing and integrating who I was and who I am and all that's gone on and continuing to go on... so there's that.
This! 100 times this. "In order to tell the truth in your writing, you must tell the truth in your life. You must be honest with yourself about who you are and how you see the world."
Grateful for these prompts and for you dropping a link to my post!
I left all social media (even Pinterest) for good a few years ago. Not the right choice for everyone, but it was one of the best things I've ever done for my mental and physical health. My life looks smaller to some, but to me, it expanded exponentially when I took the time I'd spent on social and put it toward taking action in the world, be that spending time with people, working on my business, or simply doing nothing. I even found time to take up some hobbies, which helped my creativity blossom in other areas! Most importantly, I slowed down to the speed of life and became much more present. As you describe in your post, be it for weeks or years, a social media pause can be so beneficial for recalibrating and retuning our antennae toward what's important to us.
Also, this: "My value is not negotiable. Your value is not negotiable." That hit me so hard in the most beautiful way. Much to ponder there. Thank you! 💖
Love the discussion on power and agency - definitely made me think. And an interesting read about your time off social media, something I think is always worth trying and even going back to if you've done a 'detox' before!
Your prompts are so thought provoking. The first one I could write a memoir about. I feel like my struggle is less with dishonesty than with beating myself up when I fall back into long-ingrained self-protective habits of mind. I have found the podcast Hidden Brain to be the equivalent of listening to dharma talks. A recent episode on ambivalence completely reframed my perception around my own ambivalence. And congrats on discovering Turnstile. Great band. Hopefully new music in 2023. I feel like a rewatch of Swiss Army Man will be a good pairing with the Daniels short you suggested.
"Our work is to reflect the world. Say what is true in the face of so much lying." This.
Thank you for this article. I've been stalling sending out my query letters, feeling a sense of begging, which I was repulsed by. But your words remind me of my artistic journey's purpose and the sense of begging dissolved. We DO offer the value needed. They also offer a value, but there is no reason to downgrade our artistic journey by pitching with submission to whatever power we think they hold.
YES. It's not that they have no value, of course every human has value -- it's that they wouldn't have jobs without people like you, exploring and sharing ideas with them.
And those are my favorite two lines from his whole speech!
So true!!! Everything you wrote pointed to both those truths. And it is so good for my insecurities to be reminded about our value as artistic explorers and how their jobs depend upon us artists. Again, thank you for this piece and for holding such open spaces for us, your readers, to explore!
When you create original work that is honest, like Charlie Kauffman, you also cannot be replicated.
That's one of the things I most value about Substack. It allows us to write for ourselves, what we find interesting, and the place in the Venn diagram that overlaps with readers. There is no chasing of algorithms, or key words or the rest of it. I love that part.
As for social media, I feel fortunate that after many years I've been able to tailor exactly to what I want to do with it, rather than the other way around. Or to deal with the toxic crap. I do no politics or social media -- writing about it or following. And on Facebook, I only belong to closed groups that are moderated. And for the most part they have been wonderful experiences.
Yes yes yes, it's all about tailoring social media to what you want from it, rather than letting it overwhelm and control you. I think my recent break allowed me to finally make this shift. Very grateful for it.
Thank you for this! Here's a Haiku I wrote for a bio years ago that reflects his sentiment, and yours. Amazed and amused/On this journey I write and/My life becomes art. 💜
I adore this post and increasingly feel like we're long lost soul sisters! Firstly: WHO DID YOU STUDY? Haha. Exactly. We are each an utter mess. Holy smokes. Secondly: Our value not being negotiable: Truth. Thirdly: HHDL: Yes! I studied Buddhism with Gelek Rimpoche for decades and was lucky enough to attend about a dozen teachings w/ HHDL. And I love the combination of hardcore and Buddhism. I box and often went from the ring to the temple. It felt right, all part of the same energy. Buddhism holds so much seemingly conflicting energy. Anyway, I could ramble on. Excited to watch the short by The Daniels! Thanks for another great newsletter!
"I box and often went from the ring to the temple. It felt right, all part of the same energy. Buddhism holds so much seemingly conflicting energy." I absolutely love this. And how amazing about attending teachings with HHDL! I was actually in Dharamsala on his 75th birthday. (At the time I was interning with the Tibetan Women's Association there). He held a celebration for the public at his temple and it was so beautiful. It's the only time I've been in his presence, but I still hold the memory close to my heart.
OMG! That's so wonderful!! I wish we were neighbors! I feel like we could chat for hours! Yes, being in his presence is incredible. I unexpectedly burst out crying the first time! Probably several times after that, as well.
I love your first and last questions because they are related for me. I'm writing a post this week on curbing my shopping problem. For awhile, I was in denial about it. Then, as a family in February, we decided to challenge ourselves not to buy anything. It was a beautiful exercise. The surprising lesson is that everything I had to realize/remember/re-learn are all things I have been teaching my kids but I wasn't acting and modeling it myself. Stuff like delaying gratification, being grateful for what you already have, the beauty of less choices and stuff in our lives. Decluttering our physical and mental spaces is freedom.
That is a beautiful challenge. I have found the same freedom in decluttering. I'm curious how you're feeling about week 6 of the Artist's Way! Have you started it yet? It's all about abundance and redirecting our spending towards our values.
I forgot to mention this! I laughed when I read week 6 on Sunday! The universe is watching me and lent me a hand, keeping me in check! Yes, I have been writing it down. It has been so great because if I did this exercise before our no purchase February, I can't imagine what would be on this list.
I am mentioning you in my post and I do the voiceover! How do you say your last name? I tried to see if I could hear it in a video of you but I didn't see one. Vin-G-Ah-No?
How cool, excited to listen! Just like you said -- vin - g - on -no
Hi Ali! It's up! https://stephaniecooley.substack.com/p/i-survived-not-buying-anything-for
Love this, and love that you are finding it easy to step away from social media. For years when I'd hear someone say, "I'm deleting my FB account of IG account," I'd think, you don't need to delete it. Just stop looking at it. It's so easy. Social media can be an effective tool, and a nice way to stay connected, but it doesn't need to rule us or consume our days. 💜
LOLZ at "WHO DID YOU STUDY" and wholehearted YES to Broderick's tweet! Avoid, deny, repeat. Sweep it under the rug and carry on, business as usual... Yikes. If it's any consolation, my therapist tells me I'm not her only client grappling with landing and integrating who I was and who I am and all that's gone on and continuing to go on... so there's that.
This! 100 times this. "In order to tell the truth in your writing, you must tell the truth in your life. You must be honest with yourself about who you are and how you see the world."
Grateful for these prompts and for you dropping a link to my post!
You made my heart smile. Thank you thank you!
I left all social media (even Pinterest) for good a few years ago. Not the right choice for everyone, but it was one of the best things I've ever done for my mental and physical health. My life looks smaller to some, but to me, it expanded exponentially when I took the time I'd spent on social and put it toward taking action in the world, be that spending time with people, working on my business, or simply doing nothing. I even found time to take up some hobbies, which helped my creativity blossom in other areas! Most importantly, I slowed down to the speed of life and became much more present. As you describe in your post, be it for weeks or years, a social media pause can be so beneficial for recalibrating and retuning our antennae toward what's important to us.
Also, this: "My value is not negotiable. Your value is not negotiable." That hit me so hard in the most beautiful way. Much to ponder there. Thank you! 💖
Love the discussion on power and agency - definitely made me think. And an interesting read about your time off social media, something I think is always worth trying and even going back to if you've done a 'detox' before!
Your prompts are so thought provoking. The first one I could write a memoir about. I feel like my struggle is less with dishonesty than with beating myself up when I fall back into long-ingrained self-protective habits of mind. I have found the podcast Hidden Brain to be the equivalent of listening to dharma talks. A recent episode on ambivalence completely reframed my perception around my own ambivalence. And congrats on discovering Turnstile. Great band. Hopefully new music in 2023. I feel like a rewatch of Swiss Army Man will be a good pairing with the Daniels short you suggested.
I'll give Hidden Brain a try, thanks for recommending!
"Our work is to reflect the world. Say what is true in the face of so much lying." This.
Thank you for this article. I've been stalling sending out my query letters, feeling a sense of begging, which I was repulsed by. But your words remind me of my artistic journey's purpose and the sense of begging dissolved. We DO offer the value needed. They also offer a value, but there is no reason to downgrade our artistic journey by pitching with submission to whatever power we think they hold.
YES. It's not that they have no value, of course every human has value -- it's that they wouldn't have jobs without people like you, exploring and sharing ideas with them.
And those are my favorite two lines from his whole speech!
So true!!! Everything you wrote pointed to both those truths. And it is so good for my insecurities to be reminded about our value as artistic explorers and how their jobs depend upon us artists. Again, thank you for this piece and for holding such open spaces for us, your readers, to explore!
When you create original work that is honest, like Charlie Kauffman, you also cannot be replicated.
That's one of the things I most value about Substack. It allows us to write for ourselves, what we find interesting, and the place in the Venn diagram that overlaps with readers. There is no chasing of algorithms, or key words or the rest of it. I love that part.
As for social media, I feel fortunate that after many years I've been able to tailor exactly to what I want to do with it, rather than the other way around. Or to deal with the toxic crap. I do no politics or social media -- writing about it or following. And on Facebook, I only belong to closed groups that are moderated. And for the most part they have been wonderful experiences.
Yes yes yes, it's all about tailoring social media to what you want from it, rather than letting it overwhelm and control you. I think my recent break allowed me to finally make this shift. Very grateful for it.
Thank you for this! Here's a Haiku I wrote for a bio years ago that reflects his sentiment, and yours. Amazed and amused/On this journey I write and/My life becomes art. 💜
I adore this post and increasingly feel like we're long lost soul sisters! Firstly: WHO DID YOU STUDY? Haha. Exactly. We are each an utter mess. Holy smokes. Secondly: Our value not being negotiable: Truth. Thirdly: HHDL: Yes! I studied Buddhism with Gelek Rimpoche for decades and was lucky enough to attend about a dozen teachings w/ HHDL. And I love the combination of hardcore and Buddhism. I box and often went from the ring to the temple. It felt right, all part of the same energy. Buddhism holds so much seemingly conflicting energy. Anyway, I could ramble on. Excited to watch the short by The Daniels! Thanks for another great newsletter!
"I box and often went from the ring to the temple. It felt right, all part of the same energy. Buddhism holds so much seemingly conflicting energy." I absolutely love this. And how amazing about attending teachings with HHDL! I was actually in Dharamsala on his 75th birthday. (At the time I was interning with the Tibetan Women's Association there). He held a celebration for the public at his temple and it was so beautiful. It's the only time I've been in his presence, but I still hold the memory close to my heart.
OMG! That's so wonderful!! I wish we were neighbors! I feel like we could chat for hours! Yes, being in his presence is incredible. I unexpectedly burst out crying the first time! Probably several times after that, as well.