To be perfect is to change often
A Sunday night roundup: Recommendations, check-ins, and eclipse thoughts.
Did you see the eclipse? Or better yet — did you feel it? Do you sense an internal shift happening this month?
I knew the eclipse was coming for weeks, but didn’t anticipate how desperately I’d want to properly view it until days before, when I drove around to nearly every store in my parents’ town trying to find the appropriate viewing glasses, and nobody had them.
It’s funny how certainly we know we want something when it’s withheld from us. The wavering ends.
Every astrologer I follow on Substack and Instagram said that April was a transformative month; that in the weeks before and after the eclipse, we would collectively experience disruptions, face truths we’ve buried, and experience an abundance of new energy. I had already felt this happening to me internally, and so perhaps for this reason — in addition to my basic desire to connect to humanity and the universe — I woke up on the day of the eclipse needing to experience it. I had ordered eclipse glasses online two days earlier, once these feelings began to arise, but they weren’t going to come in time. So instead I constructed a homemade tool to view it. It looked like this:
From 2-3pm, I sat on my parents’ balcony (I was visiting) and attempted to see the Sun change shape. And then something funny happened: The glasses unexpectedly arrived. In a moment of synchronicity, they appeared just as the eclipse had “peaked” on the East Coast. I put on the glasses and watched it with my mother, overwhelmed with awe. It was a rare gift to share something so special with somebody who may never see another in her lifetime. Not that she especially cared; the view was better on TV, I was told. But I cared, and that has to be enough. In life, we can only control our own responses. It’s a lesson to be learned over and over, until it makes its way into our veins and we can finally live and breathe it.
I’m writing to you from New York City. It’s been almost two years since I set foot in the city where I was born and spent so much time in my early career, grinding and hustling and watching shows and doing improv and making short films on the streets with a few bucks. There is nowhere in America with the energy and solidarity of New York. When I moved to LA I welcomed a slower life closer to nature, but it’s so invigorating to be back here. It feels right that in this period of change, I’m connecting with a place that makes me feel like a younger version of myself, that strikes so much nostalgia and in doing so, forces me to confront the ways I’m now different.
Winston Churchill said: “To improve is to change; to be perfect is to change often.” I’ve tried to let go of perfect, but I strive to improve and so I strive to change.
It’s not exactly something I struggle with. Again, recovering perfectionist. I once moved across the country three times in four years. Staying still feels like death to me; change keeps me alive. But as I settle into a life in which such drastic shifts are no longer necessary, I can forget that when I feel stagnant the solution is simple: Something is not working, and it’s time to make a change.
When we are stuck, the only way out is to change. When we are at capacity, the only way to find ease is to change. Often those changes aren’t as big as moving; We just need to make a new choice every day until suddenly a greater shift has occurred. It’s a lesson I’ve let soak in through doing The Artist’s Way the past three months; change is the only solution to every problem and the one we resist the most. And of course we do. It means giving something up. It’s much easier to cling. However, if to change is to improve, then maybe we can loosen our grip. We are safe. Something better and truer is on the other side.
When we are not “ready” for a change that we know is necessary, what we are actually doing is holding ourselves back. There is no such thing as being ready for the unknown, we can only decide we are brave enough for it. So what are you ready to change? What is one thing you can do differently tomorrow?
And now for a Sunday roundup…
I’m checking in about Film Club and The Artist’s Way, sharing some recommendations, and updating you on a new workshop. Let’s dig into it.
✨A FEW THINGS I’M LOVING RIGHT NOW✨
I’m late to the party, but Doppelganger by Naomi Klein is excellent. I spent the first few hours of listening thinking Am I really going to read a whole book about this woman’s obsession with her doppelganger? But it ends up being Klein at her best. It’s an incisive, relevant, scary, and funny analysis of modern politics, culture, and technology.
I’m about halfway into The Sicilian Inheritance by
, a multigenerational mystery set in both modern-day and turn-of-the-century Sicily. It hooks you fast, is fun throughout, and fulfills all of my Italian fantasy needs (yes, I am always fantasizing about Italy).Speaking of which, Italy is also the setting of Ripley, Netflix’s new show inspired by The Talented Mr. Ripley. Andrew Scott (Fleabag’s hot priest) is excellent in the slow-played art house mystery. It’s beautiful and quiet while still gripping. A delicate balance of pulp and art.
Who else is obsessed with the NYT game Connections? For those who need a fix, this website archives them all so you can play old ones. You can even create your own!
✨APRIL’S FEMINIST FILM CLUB SELECTION IS…
I can’t believe I’m typing this or sending it to over 3,000 people, but I’ve never seen All About Eve. That’s part of why I picked it as April’s film club selection: It’s about damn time. All About Eve is a Bette Davis classic that’s been called “a perfect feminist film,” despite being released in 1950. A radical portrait of womanhood (according to other people, again, I’ve never seen it), it received 14 Academy Award nominations — the first film ever to reach that number.
I’m so excited to watch this and discuss it with you at the end of the month.
Did you watch last month’s selection, His Girl, Friday?
If so, hop into the chat to discuss it here:
✨Artist’s Way Week 12 starts tomorrow✨
Somehow we’ve been at it for nearly THREE MONTHS! I’m so grateful for how this weekly ritual has helped me commit more deeply to caring for myself and for my art over the past 11 weeks. If you’re doing The Artist’s Way with us, hop into the chat to share what the experience has been like for you, and to find the Zoom link for our final check-in, a week from today.
✨JOIN ME FOR A TV ADAPTATION WORKSHOP I’M TEACHING FOR WRITE OR DIE MAGAZINE ✨
On Saturday, May 11, I’m teaching a workshop through
about how to adapt your work for TV. If you have a book, short story, or personal essay you’d like to turn into a TV script, either to have as a writing sample or to shop around, this is a great workshop for you. We’ll go over TV structure for both comedy and drama, developing great characters, creating story engines for your show, and much more. You can learn more and register here!
Lastly, I haven’t been posting on the same day each week. I’d love to check in to see if you’ve noticed and/or cared:
That’s all for this Sunday evening. Have a wonderful week!
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Love your recommendations here. I had the same thought about Doppelgänger when I picked it up last Fall but I keep thinking of it as I watch the language of resistance and community be co-opted over and over by the forces of antithesis. And The Sicilian Inheritance was one of my April recommendations in my newsletter too— glad you are also enjoying it! The Talented Mr. Ripley was one of the inspirations for another book on my list— Sarah Tomlinson’s new book The Last Days of the Midnight Ramblers. It’s an LA story you might also enjoy!
Ooh, that is a great tip about Connections. I play it with my 7 and 9 year old kids and they'd love to go through the archives because they have no patience to wait for one a day! 🤣
I also appreciate your take on Ripley as I've been wondering about watching it. I also love that Andrew Scott might forever be known as "hot priest"!